Spinning Out of Control: When The World Comes Crashing Down

My head keeps spinning and I’m starting to lose track of time. As of the past few weeks, I’ve been facing the reality of losing my one and only job as a cashier. I now spend the majority of my time applying for jobs left and right. If not that, then I network with people on LinkedIn or the ones I meet through work.

As soon as I get home from my evening and night shifts, I’m as good as a vegetable. These past three days have only presented themselves as a litmus test as I barely manage to get home by 9 p.m. at the very least. Somehow, I manage to find time to work with my editor-in-chief from my new magazine internship.

I’ve only joined within the past week-and-a-half and already, she seems pretty understanding of it all. Today, however, stressed me out in so many ways. As soon as I woke up, I submitted my 11th job application this past month, took their 10-minute assessment, and started working on an assignment for my internship.

But every step I took backfired and I made mistakes that cost me an hour or two of productivity. Time flew by before I even realized that my deadline was tomorrow, not in two days.

I’m trying to do as much as I can with my current situation. As I began to type the first paragraph of this blog post, my boyfriend called back to talk some sense into me. While all of the above is important, I have to drop one thing off of my schedule— applying for another job on my own.

I have to agree, I’ve submitted as many as I could already. Except for the applications I’m about to submit with the help of a friend I’ll call “S,” who I thank from the bottom of my heart.

Aside from that, I’ll just have to figure out how to balance everything else. It’s amazing how crying and talking over the phone can change your day. I’m going to make mistakes, but I’m not going to give up!

What to expect when getting laid off

I never expected to lose my job this way. Sure, you hear about it happening on the news, but you never really think it could happen to you. I found out less than 24 hours ago, just as I was about to end my shift and leave for the day.

“I really don’t know how to do this any better,” my boss said before announcing to our entire team that we’ll be laid-off within the next couple of months. I turn to a younger woman sitting to my right, who appears to be in shock. “It’s going to be okay,” I tell her as I pat her shoulder and give her a hug.

To my right is a gentleman who seems to he taking the news a little harder. He has to go home and try to explain this to his family. The rest of the group never looked so lifeless. There were a couple of people, on the other hand, who tried to add bits of humor here and there as this meeting came to an end.

I waited for the group to disperse before walking up to my boss. “You did good,” I told him. “Thank you for telling us in person and not over the phone. Before you process all of this, just remember that it didn’t have anything to do with you. People are going to be upset at the situation, so don’t take it personally. You have to be strong when you announce this tomorrow. Don’t show it.”

“We’re both young. We have our whole lives ahead of us,” he says before giving me a hug. With me being half his height, you couldn’t tell who was being consoled.

I head over to the time clock to finally log myself out for the day. On my way toward the exit, I ask the assistant manager how she’s doing. For someone who’s spent nearly half of her life in this occupation it must be a blow. Of course she’s having a hard time processing it!

As I drive over to my boyfriend’s house, I couldn’t help but wonder about how this could impact some of my coworkers. One is trying to support her family, the other appears to be living alone and so-and-so’s got an elderly mother to care for.

I turn into the driveway as I approach the house. As I hug my boyfriend, tears begin to stream down my face. “Thank you for sharing this with me. This is the best news I could’ve gotten! You didn’t get fired or leave, but you got laid off. It won’t negatively impact you the next time you apply for another job. If anything, the past several months should’ve boosted your confidence.”

“You’re right!” I think to myself. So here I am writing this blog after re-vamping my résumé. For the past five months, I’ve boosted my confidence and acquired new skills that will help me in any field that I pursue. I’ve met so many amazing people along the way and I know that there will be many more that I’ll meet in the future. I’m already looking forward to my next adventure!