Time Capsule 1: From Retail to Education

I’m absolutely nervous. I’ll be entering Education as an tutor at an after school program starting tomorrow.

I never thought I’d be in this position at all. For the past few years, I’ve had family and friends encourage me to become a teacher.

How will I know whether or not I like it if I never try it? I suppose that’s what’s making me worried.

I’m not sure about what to expect. But that defeats the purpose growing as a person, I suppose.

I hope to read this in a year or two.

Maybe I’ll scoff or reflect on my life decisions at this point in time. It’s all part of the journey, after all.

A Transition Into Living Color

It was as dark as night, hidden within mom’s beige, built-in apartment closet. Black and grey clothes hung here and there, peppering our entire wardrobe collection. Back when I wanted to wear clothes that were as dark as my mood. And it all began in the early 2000s. I was just a teenager when, to mom’s dismay, I began to rebel via wardrobe malfunction and a complete change in color scheme.

Way back when rhinestones, glitter, leopard prints and rainbow tie-dyed everything competed with metal spikes, long, black midi skirts and fishnet tank-tops. I shudder to think about it now.

But that was my way of expressing myself. My way of hinting at those dark, deep thoughts that lead to symptoms of depression and eventually, lead to suicidal tendencies. The types of struggles that can hardly be put into words. Black and grey fit me as comfortably as skin-tight jeans. They just felt good. Up until this point, my life wasn’t so colorful.

But that changed the very moment I began my last semester at university in the spring of 2017. I’ve found no reason to brood over the past and have learned to let go of old grudges. I’ve graduated from college, found a job and have managed to maintain fulfilling relationships with friends and family.

And did I mention family? Yeah, I’ve found that I want to have one of my own. Right now, I’m happy and optimistic. I’m only just starting to find many reasons to live. Words a teenage Diane would’ve have never associated herself with. Or the colorful wardrobe sprinkled with dresses and pastels in pink and blue. With me, what you see is what you get. I’m wearing my heart out.

Zero Words & A Thousand Pictures For The Friendly Type

Complete silence. Dead as a doornail. Pause. Just like that, a conversation comes to a stop. It’s something that people worry about because they aren’t quite sure how to interpret it in general terms.

But then their minds start to wander, as their doubts and concerns start to eat away at their self-consciousness. They ask themselves questions like: Am I weird? Boring? Do I have anything in common with this person? Can we see eye-to-eye? Agree to disagree? Is this conversation over? Do I just let this person go? Are they even paying attention?

Well, that depends on how close the relationship is between the people in question. As we all know, stressing about it won’t make much of a difference for anyone involved in this scenario.

So what can we do about this? What’s the first step? Sometimes we have to understand that this person needs their own space. It’s a sign of respect. It gives them time to make their own decisions like whether they want to return the gesture or not? And then there’s so much more to consider after-the-fact.

Everyone’s got their own style of social etiquette, which mainly goes back to the way they were raised, their background and their personal tolerance for social settings. While this may seem pretty obvious to some, others need a reminder from time-to-time.

However, there’s one question that could be easily missed by all—how badly this person wants you to be in their life? Once you figure it out, the direction of your relationship will become easier to manage. People tend to pitch in the same amount of effort into a relationship that they value.

Regardless, it’s always refreshing to move onto new ventures and new people, who are just as happy with having you in their lives.

3 Easy Ways To Improve Your Memory And Survive A Busy Schedule

Lately, it’s become a struggle to remember the smaller details that you’ve forgotten throughout the day. You’ve forgotten things like what you ate for breakfast or what you said about an hour ago and that’s okay! Those things belong in the past!

I’m totally with you and I’ve listed three ways to help you survive your busy schedule starting with this one:

Create a list of things that you have to do

List the most important things that you have to do right now. Like that new project that you have to finish within an hour or the fact that you can actually set some time aside to grab some lunch and maybe a coffee.

Make sure to take care of the time-sensitive things first and then work your way down the rest of the list. Don’t sweat it if the day has already come to an end. You’ve got a lot less on your plate now!

Cut out the fluff

Cut out the habits that you can live without. Indulge occasionally. Are you addicted to social media, but have so much to do? Unless it’s something serious, surely, your friends can wait.

Are you watching YouTube videos and gaming the night away? An hour or two of that is plenty because there’s enough leveling-up to do in real life.

Take care of yourself

This part can’t be said enough. Make sure to drink plenty of water and eat full meals throughout the day. You’ll want to do everything that you can to stop those nasty headaches.

Try to change your daily routine. Your health is at the door, but your brain says your schedule’s booked!

I’m Another Caged Bird Who Sings

Up until about two years ago, I used to poke fun at the very idea of writing a journal entry. Until one night, for no reason in particular, when I gave it a shot and spilled out all of the thoughts that I had kept bottled up inside of me.

Each night, I wrote one note after another, adding them to a pile of entries or turning them into sad songs. Sometimes I simply tossed them out into the ether and sometimes I buried these feelings deep down in my heart. As I was doing this, I slowly felt all of the weight on my shoulders lighten up.

So I kept writing and writing about depression until last year in late January, when my life made a complete turn-around.

I started dating my wonderful boyfriend and for the first time in my entire life, I felt all of my problems solve themselves out naturally. Ever since entering my life, my boyfriend has given me a chance to live outside of of the rough world that I’m still trapped in.

When I’m with him, I can put my guard down and speak my mind. I don’t have to play those silly games where you talk over each other in order to share your opinions. I’m free to share my deepest fears and feel all of the warmth that I’ve never thought I’d find in someone else.

Today, I’m happy, fulfilled and living in a way I’ve never pictured before. I’m finally a little more free from those petty mind tricks that I face almost every single day. The ones where people have to one-up and pressure each other just for sport. The ticking-time-bomb-wannabes, who are ready to blow up with the slightest touch just because they feel like it.

Because they don’t care about what you have to say. It’s a rough environment to live in. I’ve watched relationships go from stale to abusive and I’ve seen people lose their minds trying to get out of here. Everything is flaming-hot or ice-cold because there’s rarely anything in-between.

After more than 20 years of living on this spec of dust, I’ve finally found a place where the sun shines all year round and the grass is literally much greener. The songs that I sing now are about a world isn’t entirely a bad place at all.

Opening Your Heart Will Change Your Life For The Better

In the day and during the night, you look past all of the lights that shine around you. Your skin feels cold to the touch just looking at the grey clouds in the sky so far away. Time feels like it’s stretching further apart. An hour feels like forever. You stare at the minutes on the clock and feel as if your heart is turning into stone with every second that passes you by.

That’s the feeling of loneliness weighing you down. It closes your heart and poisons your mind. It only takes a little bit of time before you tell yourself that your life isn’t going to get any better. But we all know that that’s a complete lie.

You try to put up a fight, but your body feels so weak– helpless. Hope and faith are two words that never sounded so stupid before up until now. Yet, there’s a reason why you keep reaching out to other people for help. There’s nothing stupid about any of it at all.

So keep reaching out to even more people, keep fighting the same war and keep your chin up. Eventually, the people that you need in your life will come to find you. Yes, they will find you. They will fight this battle along with you, support you and love you just the way you are.

They will hold your hands when you’re feeling lost and light up the small places in your heart that you’ve left forgotten. Their hugs will melt away all of your problems. The problems that have weighed you down for so many years as if for centuries.

That weight around your heart will only feel lighter. Life only gets better.

 

3 Things You Should Know About A Stylish Delight

Up until January, I was just like you. I always judged myself because I thought I wasn’t perfect. For me, that meant being a perfect woman, daughter and the best version of myself.

I always wondered if I was ever going to get to that point in my life. My face was never pretty enough and the number of clothes I owned kept piling up as well.

Then I realized something— it was all in my head. I was just driving myself crazy with all of these bad thoughts. I just took a long time to finally see it. It was through this journey that A Stylish Delight was born just for you.

In addition to it’s focus on mental health, fashion and beauty, here are three things you should know about this website:

I want to help you survive the same struggles as I did

I want to share personal experiences through short bursts of information so that it’s quick and easy to read wherever you go. I also want to avoid writing those long, 1,200-word articles with titles, titles and more studies.

You know, the ones with long words that no one really uses in real life? Not everyone understands or remembers them and besides, it’s just not my style. I just want you to know that you are not alone in this journey.

Mental health is a gateway to inner beauty

This website is about accepting the beauty of our hearts and minds. You are more beautiful than you’ll ever realize, but in order to get a preview of that, you’ll have to put in work, too. Ugh, I know, right?

Who said that becoming a better version of yourself was going to be easy? In a world where we see almost everything at face value, it’s easy to forget that we are human beings, too. Now all you have to do is accept everything about yourself.

It started off as a nightly journal entry on an iPhone

For the past two years, I would take out my iPhone and jot down all of the thoughts that bothered me. I would think about the things that I said or the way I behaved and try to get to the bottom of it. Although I didn’t want to admit it at first, writing my heart out made me feel so much better.

At that time, I didn’t feel like sharing anything with anyone just yet. I was angry, tired and frustrated by the fact that I was handing all of my power to these thoughts that really didn’t matter.

I also knew that getting professional help would cost a lot more money than I can dream of having right now. So instead of feeling bad for myself, I’m sharing what I’ve learned throughout my journey with you!

Much love from yours truly,

Diane